Some babies take the breast, while others take to the bottle or even both! Emery was a breastfed child. I wasn’t sure at first if I could do it, because it hurt so much. It took most of the 2 weeks that doctors recommend to try breastfeeding before the pain went away. It was hard to go anywhere. Every step out of the house was a very precise move, 2-3 hrs. before each feeding. There were days it felt like she never came off my chest!
I tried pumping, I hated it. For me, it took too long, I just didn’t have the time to sit there & pump. Em wasn’t taking to the bottle, not that I was forcing the issue but it would have been nice to have a back up while we were out somewhere or while on a car trip. I originally had planned to breastfeed only 6 months but I didn’t know a baby couldn’t drink cow milk until 1 yr. After my 1 yr. stretch that was it! Looking back at one year it had went by faster than expected but I was ready for both of our independence. That didn’t happen. We tried and tried breaking the bond but with no luck. There were nights of her screaming, bed time became an experiment. I hated to hear her cry out for me, as if I was abandoning her but it had to be done! I hadn’t had a full nights sleep at this point for a whole year. I started to despise the Facebook mothers & their children that could sooth themselves at 2 months and sleep through the night. Why were those children sound sleepers while I had to share a bed with my daughter while my husband slept on the floor next to us every night (by the way special shout out to my husband for doing that).
Then my husband got deployed to the U.S.S. George Bush for 7 months. This my time to get her weened! I was determined! Nothing was going to stop me! Nothing!!! except endless nights of no sleep, a child who now woke up screaming at night for her milk, which she didn’t really even need, it was just a comfort for her. Baby’s shouldn’t need milk at night after a certain point, more towards the first year night feedings should be over. Again, not in my case.
This went on until she was 17 months. Right before she turned 18 months (1 1/2 yr) I ended up getting real sick for a few weeks. I was just so sluggish, tired all the time, loosing weight for no reason &  I just wanted to sleep all day & that was impossible. Even with just one baby I had no one to watch her & I felt bad for taking a nap. I’ve never been a nap kinda person. Something was going on though. It was like depression but I had nothing to be depressed about.  The Dr. right away wrote it off as depression as well. She hadn’t asked any questions or done any exams. I knew other wise & so did my husband. Being half a world away he pin pointed the problem. He found someone online going through the same symptoms as myself. It turned out, Emery was sucking the nutrients from me. My body was done feeding her. The funny thing is my dog had a litter of puppies during this time & she was going through the same thing. Before the normal time allotment of puppies being weened the momma dog was ready for her pups to feed on food. She was all sucked up and weak too. Me and my idiot dog had the same medical condition. Our kids were killing us.
And then something happened, a sorta modern-day miracle. I offered Emery a bottle again. with milk warmed up. At first she refused it but eventually she took it! It took about 3 days of little fussing at first then she was on the bottle! I wish it was just a sippy cup or no milk at all but hey, little steps here. The next day my health  immediately returned. It was insane!
Our big hurdle now it stopping milk at night all together. She now (most nights when her teeth arent bothering her) sleeps in her crib. I’ve been watering down her milk. At night if she wants milk I give her a bottle full of warm water. I turn off the night-light so that she can’t hold the bottle to the light and see that it’s not opaque like milk. Shes a smart kid! Its been working. I noticed that she hardly drinks any of the water. Unlike a bottle of milk, she would drink the whole thing then go to bed. With the water she drinks enough until she falls back to sleep. I don’t know if she just thinks it’s not as good as the first bottle or what but its been a work in progress I’m happy to say it’s working! (knock on wood).


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